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FOCUS
If you are a Roman Catholic, you can use the assessment
tool used by thousands of US couples take every year. FOCCUS
(Facilitating Open Couple Communication, Understanding &
Study) is a premarital inventory designed to help engaged
couples explore pertinent issues related to their impending
marriage. It was developed in 1985 by the Family Life Office
of the Archdiocese of Omaha and is considered to be one of
the most popular and effective tools for marriage
preparation. There are four advantages in using FOCCUS: 1.
FOCCUS reflects the values and ideals of a sacramental
marriage as taught by
the Roman Catholic Church. 2. A couple can learn about the
strengths and areas for growth in their relationship within
a short period of time. 3. The questionnaire covers 15 areas
in marriage. 4. FOCCUS has been scientifically proved to be
valid and reliable.
Love
Dr. Leo Buscaglia in his book wrote, "I see people who are
always saying, ´I´m in love, I´m in love, I´m in love. I
really believe in love. I act the part.´ And then they shout
at the waitress, ´Where´s the water?!´ I will believe your
love when you show it to me in action. When you can
understand that everybody is teaching everybody to love
every moment. And when you ask yourself, 'Am I the best
teacher,' and if your answer is 'Yes'--great. Go
around--listen to how many times a day you say, 'I love,'
instead of 'I hate.' Isn´t it interesting that children, as
they learn the process of language, always learn the word
'no' years before they learn the word 'yes'? Ask linguists
where they hear it. Maybe if they heard more of 'I love, I
love, I love,' they´d say it sooner and more often."
Dating With Confidence Part IV
Dating with confidence begins within ourselves. In order for
us to be more confident, we must deal with the individual
fears and worries that prevent us from getting close to
others with this process: 1. Identify your own issues: what
fears do you have about dating? What things do you do that
you wish you didn´t? 2. Once you have identified your
issues, write them down and evaluate where these fears or
behaviors come from. Where did you learn these fears or
behaviors? Do you believe you can change these behaviors? 3.
List the times you have overcome the fears or behaviors you
listed in Step 2. Remember those times and write them down.
What were you doing when you were able to overcome those
fears or behaviors? 4. Create a game plan to help you for
the next time you start feeling the negative fears or start
doing the negative behaviors (e.g. not wanting to talk to
others, saying something you didn´t want to). 5. If the
steps above do not work, take some time to figure out why.
What is really preventing you from being more confident?
Take this question seriously and write down your thoughts. |
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